Ne Plus Ultra
by FinalFantasyHearts-Rinsaito
Summary: ONE SHOT. Alternative ending to series two. Caroline on the station platform. It says humour, but, it's not funny really-I just tried to add a little to make it less depressing. I may have failed utterly.


Green Wing

Series Two 

Ne Plus Ultra 

Caroline Todd stood on the crowded platform, looking around expectantly with a somewhat nervous excitement. She crossed her fingers carefully, staring down at her outfit, her mind full of criticism. But, of course, that was only because she was waiting for Mac. How could she not be out of her mind with this intense concern for her appearance? After everything that had happened in order to bring them to where they were, she couldn't let this chance slip through her fingers. Sure, she'd done some…slightly, odd things in order to find herself there, but she was prepared to do anything to be by Mac's side. Caroline could admit to herself that she unconditionally loved him. It hadn't mattered when they'd thought he'd fathered a son with his ex-girlfriend, she had been prepared to deal with that. As if she'd give up now.

Caroline was early for the train she had been instructed to meet him for, but she couldn't stop herself from gazing around in hopes of his appearance; sooner rather than later. The large steam engine sitting next to her on the platform began to chug away, its whistle screaming shrilly as it left her in a cloud of smoke.

"Caroline!" she heard the voice before she saw him, running through the smoke towards her .

"Mac?" she called back, but as he reached her and the steam hanging around them retreated to her ankles she saw him.

"What are you waiting for ginger for?" he asked, a little angrily

"Guy, why are you even here?" she sighed, raking her hand through her short, dark hair with annoyance.

"I came to stop you" he told her matter-of-factly. Caroline groaned, turning away from him.

"You said 'maybe', " he reminded her, shrugging and shoving his hands into his pockets as he tried to cover his rare embarrassment. She turned to him a little angrily.

"Yes, 'maybe', not 'yes', Guy!" he sighed forlornly.

"I hoped it would work like in the movies," she raised a quizzical eyebrow at him, making him explain further. " You know, 'girl almost goes off with guy who's bad for her, and then the love of her life comes running down the train platform, sweeps her off her feet and they end up together' cue credits-happily ever after?" Caroline chuckled.

"The most I can ever see you sweeping is rubbish." Guy huffed slightly, his shoulder's shrinking away into his large jacket.

"Fine, but does that mean you see yourself as rubbish?" he asked, sceptically. Caroline blushed, realising she had indirectly only served in insulting herself . Oh, why did she always end up saying the most stupid things around them? Guy and Mac. Martin she could deal with, he was like a girlfriend to her. Someone she could tell pretty much anything without getting embarrassed. When it came to Guy and Mac, however, she always said something ridiculous, and ended up making herself look stupid. If only she had Angela's confidence…Poor Angela.

"No," Caroline told him finally "you haven't swept me off my feet." he smiled ruefully .

"He's not coming, Caroline." she looked at him with bewilderment.

"How do you know that?" she asked slowly. Had he said something to Guy? Had Mac set this up so that Guy could persuade her? No, Mac wouldn't do something like that to her. Even if he didn't love her- she was his friend. Guy shook his head, almost regretful of his own unusual honesty.

"I don't- I hoping." Caroline smiled sadly at him, she liked Guy Secretan but she could never be sure if he meant what he said.

The time that Mac was going to meet her came and went, while Caroline and Guy chatted about nothingness and life. They didn't mention themselves, Mac or what would happen either way. They avoided the topics, with a silently agreed pact, until the time came when they had to. When Caroline had to decide what to do.

The seconds ticked by, turning into minutes and those into hours. Caroline gave up.

"He's not coming," she sighed eventually, turning to Guy. He looked up, almost sadly. Had he ever felt bad for someone before? He surprised himself at the way Caroline's sweeping depression caught at his heart strings. He couldn't take seeing her like that. "Go on, say 'I told you so'-I know you want to." she groaned, waiting for the onslaught of mockery from her colleague with tensed shoulders. He coughed slightly, looking uncomfortable.

"What makes you think I would do that?"

"Because it's you, Guy." she replied bluntly, with a sigh.

"I can be serious too, you know." he informed her carefully, she chuckled. she doubted that.

"Really? Since when-I didn't get that memo." Guy grinned self consciously.

"I've been serious enough with you before."

"You were drunk at the time." he nodded slightly.

"Well, yes, there is that…" she smiled despite herself.

"Why are you always so carefree?" Guy bit his lip, wondering himself, and this time prepared to not spin a story that wasn't real.

"I guess for the same reason Mac is."

"Which is?"

"I don't want to admit to the bad things in my life, the mistakes I've made, the regrets I have, the things I can't change, the things I want-I'm not honest enough to admit them." Caroline frowned slightly, Guy was being unlike his usual idiotic self, but who could trust that?

She turned to him suddenly, a look of determination on her face.

"You know that question you asked me before? The answer's yes." Guy looked at her in amazement.

"You and Angela did the lesbian touching thing!?" he smiled excitedly, Caroline frowned at him. Okay, he was an idiot after all.

"No, the other question." Guy put his head to the side, trying to remember the question she was referring to.

"You had a mud fight in bikinis?" Caroline shook her head "You and Angel were secretly lesbians before she died?" she tapped her foot angrily, and he smiled at her.

"No," she replied.

"Shame." Caroline shrugged.

"Maybe," he smiled to himself…he'd have like to see that-deciding that it was true - as she hadn't exactly denied it.

"Will you marry me?" it was the question she had been referring to before he had become sidetracked with bikinis and lesbian fantasies of his. Caroline looked back to him, deciding her standing in everything and smiled.

"Yes, I will." Guy nodded sadly, then performed a double take.

"You will?" he asked in amazement, Caroline nodded cheerfully.

"I will." Guy punched the air triumphantly.

"Oh, I'm definitely sweeping you off your feet now," he told her, scooping her legs up into his muscular arms and spinning her around. Caroline laughed light-heartedly, then she placed an urgent hand on Guy's arm.

"Put me down, you're going to make me sick." she told him hurriedly. He halted from his spinning - hastily and let her down to her feet.

"Sorry." he told her, as she grabbed his left arm for support

"Don't worry about it," she chuckled wanly.

"Let's run away from here - leave this cold, grey world behind us, and embark on our lives together!" Guy proclaimed, though to the rest of the station rather than Caroline, who was holding her knees and trying to stop her nausea.

"Did you swallow a Mills and Boon dictionary by any chance?" she asked sceptically

"No, 'A Travellers Guide To Europe', actually." Caroline laughed, standing up straight now that the feeling of illness had passed.

"Clever." Guy imitated the tipping of an invisible hat, and shrugged.

Mac reached the station three hours late, pale and confused, his eyes slightly blood-shot, but he couldn't leave her waiting on a platform for him all alone. He took the grubby stone steps two at a time, hurrying his way to Caroline. He was stopped by what he saw though, pulling himself behind one of the grey, unforgiving pillars of the stations and peering around it to watch. Guy and Caroline, they stood together chatting and laughing quite amiably, but a strand of jealous curled in his stomach. How could Guy have gone to the station? It wasn't his part to play, yet, there he was on the stage reading Mac's lines. Mac shook his head - bloody metaphors. But, he was right, it was exactly as if the half-Swiss doctor and his best friend had filled his shoes, taken his part, borrowed his shoes, turned his side of the coin, swapped his mask, changed his manner, become what was needed. Mac chided himself again for becoming distracted by metaphors and descriptions for what he saw. Most importantly, he questioned himself, why, was he standing there like a fugitive? Yes, he was well over three hours late, he had left Caroline alone waiting for him, but, surely now that he was there he could continue from where they had been? Or was there another reason, a small voice -which sounded remarkably like Boyce - asked him in the back of his mind. Mac knew two things for certain: Firstly, he loved Caroline Todd utterly and with all of his heart, he did. Secondly, that he was going to die, not just the inevitable death sort of death, but, the terminal illness death. One, that was waiting for him, and would happen shortly. He swallowed hard, pulling his fingers through his strawberry blonde hair and closing his eyes. It was sad, he knew that, he was scared, and he didn't want to die. But, when he thought about it, how he had been about to ask her to marry him, and knowing she would accept his proposal, he also knew it would be terrible for her. He would die, whether he decided to tell her or not, and she would feel the pain of his death. Yes, he would be in pain before that day, but after that he would be gone, unable to look after and to love her as she deserved.

When he thought about it in perspective, he could see how flawed everything was. He had loved her since the beginning. Before he'd kissed her at her party, even. Everything had changed, and become what he'd wanted, and it was being taken from him. He couldn't hurt her though. He didn't want to leave her- with Guy Secretan, no less- but perhaps it was better if he left her before she grew to love him the way he loved her?

"You're an idiot." he was informed, as he turned to leave the station. It was Boyce, standing tall, blonde, handsome, and pityingly in front of him.

"I beg your Pardon?"

Boyce laughed, "For leaving her." Mac stared at the student for a moment

"How would you know what's going on?"

"I can read your mind." Boyce said seriously.

"You heard them talking didn't you-before I arrived."

Boyce grinned "Yes, mate-I did," Boyce shrugged "All the same-you're being an idiot."

"You know why though?" Mac asked him, Boyce smiled sadly

"Yeah, I know," Boyce's smiled faded, and he wiped his eyes slightly. Looking back to Mac he suddenly hugged the other doctor "You're a great mate, Mac" the older doctor patted the boy's shoulder.

"You'll live without me," he chuckled at his own joke "Literally."

"I'll miss you." Mac smiled sadly

"Yeah? I'll miss you too-if I could, I don't know-but, I would miss you. Like if I moved away, if I had gone to Sheffield way back when." Boyce nodded and smiled wanly at his friend.

"Yeah, here's hoping there's something good for you afterwards." he crossed his fingers meaningfully in front of Mac's face.

"I hope so."

"She'll marry Guy, and she'll be happy, maybe have a few kids. It's better than what I can give her." Boyce raised an eyebrow.

"Anything you could give Caroline would be better than Guy."

"Like a coffin and a headstone?!" Mac almost shouted, but in reality only raised his voice slightly.

"If you love each other, well, you'll make it through. Isn't it better to tell each other the things you can while you can? To share what time you have left with each other? To give each other the happiness you can, however short? Correct me if I'm wrong, Mac, but, I think Caroline would want that. She loves you too, and if it was me-I'd spent anytime with you before you went that I could. I'd never waste it on someone else because I thought you'd abandoned me. If you don't let her know how you feel, you'll leave without he knowing, and you'll regret it if there's something afterwards."

"Impressive." Mac whistled

"Thank-you, but do you agree with me?" Mac sighed and looked towards the pair.

"I do. I really do, Boyce. I don't want to be alone, I'm scared of dying. But, I don't want her to suffer because of me either."

"Why don't you let her decide?" Boyce told him sharply, "After all, she's half of your coin." Mac chuckled and Boyce shoved him out from behind the pillar towards the pair.

Mac started running, instinctively-towards the person he loved.

"Mac?!" Caroline yelled with surprise as he reached them, grabbing her by the shoulders and staring into her eyes.

"I'm sorry-,"

"That's okay…" she looked nervously towards Guy, who was frowning angrily at them.

"I love you, Caroline. I always have, I always will. I didn't mean to be late, I fond out something and, and , I was shocked. I was scared, and I left you-and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I saw you together and I almost left too, I want you to be happy, and if I don't, won't or can't make you happy I understand. It's okay, I won't hold it against you." both Guy and Caroline were staring at him in surprise. Mac took a deep breath and continued, " I can't always be here for you, but I want to be. I want to be by your side, forever. I really do-but I can't. I don't want to put you through so much pain, or confusion, but I suppose I couldn't help but come to tell you. I do love you, more than anything, and I wish I didn't have to lose you." Caroline blinked at him for a moment, watching as tears as clear as crystal began to slide down his face.

"Why would you lose me? Or have to leave me?" she asked, utterly confused and very conscious that a) Guy -her now fiancé of four minutes- was standing watching and b) that Mac was crying, which meant it must be terrible.

"I'm going to die, Caroline," he told her seriously, his gaze locked with hers seriously. She patted his arm.

"Everyone dies, Mac." He shook his head.

"I'm going to die-I only have a few months at the most. It's terminal, there's no way to cure it. But, I don't want to be without you. I'm scared, I'll admit that, and I don't want you to suffer because of me, but I want to stay with you. For whatever time I have left."

"Mac!" she choked on the name, realisation flooding her face and her own tears beginning to slide down her cheeks. "How, could you ever think, that I wouldn't want to be with you? Even if you do leave, and I lose you, and it hurts terribly as if I've lost half of myself, I would never want to not be with you. If you still want me to, I'd spend whatever time I can with you. Every moment if you wanted me to. You're scared, and I know I would be too, but I'll be by your side as long as you need me. Because I love you too, Mac. With all my heart, I do. I don't care if it hurts, at least I'll have been able to spend time with you-and remember you forever." Guy watched on, tears pricking the back of his eyes at the scene, and he walked away from them, leaving them to each other, and their love. Because, even if he was jealous as hell for not being the one she loved, they deserved their short taste of happiness. He hoped the vintage was well matured.

"Do you mean it? You don't want to not stay with me? You don't feel sorry for me?" he asked, quickly. She shook her head.

"I do mean it, I want to stay with you forever, as long as we both live. I do feel sorry for you, because you're suffering and you're scared, but I feel - terribly - worse for myself. Because I'll lose you, but it doesn't matter because I know how you feel, and that you want to be with me, and if I can make the rest of your life enjoyable, I do anything."

"I love you, Caroline-always. And, if there's anything after this, I always will-whatever happens."

"I love you too, and I'd never stop loving you-I never have. I've never not loved you."

"Since when?"

"Since the beginning."

"Me too." he told her carefully, hugging her tightly. They stood like that for several minutes, their arms wrapped around each other as they cried for the love they had, and knew they would lose. Then Mac stepped back from the embrace, cupping her face in his hands and smiling at her with the all the love he had never been able to tell her about, and all that was left which he could not convey in all of it's capacity and unwavering strength to her. Even if they had a life time.

Boyce stood against the pillar smiling to himself, as he watched Mac kiss Caroline with an urgency of death waiting to welcome him home, feverish showing her just how much he did love her.

" 'Till death do they part," Boyce said aloud, turning and clapping Guy on the shoulder. Guy sighed, brushing away the last tears from his eyelashes and swallowing hard.

" 'Through sickness, and in health,' " Boyce nodded brushing away his own tears. The two men frowned at each other, they hadn't cried in a long time. "I wish he would be okay now." Guy commented, to himself more than anything.

"Even if you love her too?" Boyce asked.

"Yeah, if she's happy." Boyce smiled at his friend warmly.

"Good man." They walked away, leaving the pair on the now empty platform, still kissing, as if they only had moments before the wind took Mac away.

"Bambi," Boyce said as they wandered out of the stations aimlessly, unsure what to do now.

"What?"

"Last time I cried,"

"Last week," Guy confessed, Boyce winced "Bambi." Boyce nodded

"Yesterday."

Author's Note: I am sad, a romantic, and bad at writing. Therefore, I apologise for this monstrosity known as Ne Plus Ultra.


End file.
